When you plan a birthday party for your child, and send out invites to their friends, is it assumed that parents will come too?
I've noticed a difference between how some do parties here. When Connor has been invited to a party unless it says "parents/siblings welcome", I don't plan on staying. But I have noticed that at a few of those parties that Connor has been at, there have been parents and siblings stay the whole time, and that the hosts of the party just planned on them being there, and act surprised that I'm not staying.
Say your kids were invited to a birthday party for a 9 year old at a skating rink and nothing was mentioned on the invite encouraging parents to stay. Would you stay anyway or would you just drop them off go do your thing and pick them up at the end of the party?
This exact situation happened to my cute cousin. She and her hubby dropped her kids off at the party, then went down the street to a movie until the party was over, then picked them up at the appointed time, and the host of the party thought she was totally rude for doing that. There had been no mention of parents staying on the invite, and when she saw how many adults they had for help, just assumed that that she would be in the way. I would've done the same thing.
So what's your opinion?
27 comments:
some parents are completely ridiculous.
no i would not have stayed- unless maybe, and i say maybe, my kid was 3 years old or younger.
I typically ask - just to make sure. But most of the time I assume I am supposed to just drop the child off - unless the invitation says different.
It is a kids party!
I am a drop and run parent. And since I am totally anti-social unless I am friends with the parents I still drop and run.
I kind of think it would be weird to have parents at a 9 year old's kid party unless it was a family party or something of that nature.
But a kid party where they invite their friends. I just drop my kids off and when they have their parties I expect the same. I don't ever plan for siblings or parents that would be awkward.
I don't want the stupid parents hanging around judging my entire party. And how can I be mean and yell at their kid if they are hanging around?
In the past, when I am RSVPing (yes, a few of us still actually do that), I will talk about it in casual conversation my plan of dropping them off. If they invite me to stay, great, if they mention again the time to be there, I know I am off the hook.
I will say....I am glad not to have birthday parties anymore
No I wouldn't have stayed. That's weird.
Dump and run as fast as possible!
I only stay if was invited!
Since my kids are younger, I always ask the mom before hand if she needs extra help. But 9 y/o are mature enough not to need so many adults around to help. If the mom thought it was rude, she should've made sure she expected the parents to stay. And she *certainly* shouldn't have been so rude to them afterwards.
uh- not around these neck of dah woods! We would not go to a party if I had to be their, that means more work for me! lol
It really depends on the area you live in. When my older girls were young and went to a private school, I knew their parties were a family affair. But they were young, and I knew what we were getting into. These days I wouldn't put up with it. My kids get dropped off unless otherwise stated. If it is for one of the littles (5 and younger) I ask if they need my help. The answer is almost always no. They plan on the number of kids, and have enough help. I wouldn't even dream of asking for a child older than 5. Unless the party is really far away. Or sometimes if it is a really close family friend. Most of the time, it is perfectly appropriate and expected to drop the kid off, and head out.
I think I would have done exactly what she had done, unless the hostess had specifically said to me..."You're welcome to stay."
I have upon occasion stayed when it's someplace like that or Peter Piper Pizza when I wasn't sure if there was enough supervision, and then I usually buy my own pizza and sit at a different table--out of the way.
I think it was rude of the hostess to assume that your cousin is a mind reader.
That is so ridiculous! They are throwing the party & inviting the childs friend. That is wrong to expect parents to stay & help with their party. The invitation should say to the .... Family if they want you to stay.
It drives me crazy when ppl have parties for their kids that last all day & expect you to come too... I just don't send my kid & then theirs not a problem!
Are you kidding me???? An opportunity for my kids to hang out at someone else's house for an hour or two??
I don't even stop the van when I drop them off, I make them jump out :)
I only stay if I am tight with the mom and it would be a fun chat. But I WOULDN"T do it unless it were brought up previous in conversation.
I am with everyone , if you wanted parents you should put that on the invitation.
I will say on the flip side I had a friend throw a party for her 3 year old at the park. THe invitations were made out the "MIller family" and such. She was a little annoyed with parents who dropped their kids, mostly because it was at an open park, and much more work for her to keep track of them.
So READ and WRITE the invitations carefully! ;)
Every party I have ever thrown for my kids, the parents have stayed. At first, I thought, "Do they not trust me?" Then, I realized it is this way at every party! I just always prepared and plan for parents to attend also! I have had a couple of kids "dropped off" and wish their parents had stayed!
♥ I think it definetly needs to be hashed out before the parent leaves the child if it doesn't say on the invite but that's just my opion... or I'd ask when I RSVP...
It definately should be worked out beforehand. Bad planning on the parent's part I think.
The only time I've ever stayed at a kid party is when it is family. My kids (especially the older ones) would probably be mortified if I hung around at one of their "friend parties". Kids need space. And if I didn't think they were well supervised I wouldn't take them there in the first place.
Drop and run, the invite was for the kiddo after all... Not staying unless asked. I fI come you get the whole crew and that means more work for me, NO THANKS
Catching up in here. You are so great with those video's and awareness. Go girl.
The party thing. This drives me nuts. That is why I don't do parties anymore. I have that problem. The parents stay and bring their other kids. What? Once I had a mother bring her 4 other kids. Of course they wanted to do everything. She wanted her little kids to ride the horse first and it took forever. They wanted to paint and also have some goodies.
It is just plain rude. To top it off, she stayed 2 hours after the party was over. I didn't even know her that well. But the one thing that dropped me over the edge - as soon as she was going out the door, she hands me a Pampered Chef party that she was hosting. Was that all she was there for? I didn't go.
i really never thought about it before. i must be a terrible parent. i am just thinking about what i am going to do during the party! ha!
What cousin?
I was surprised when taking my oldest to a bday party, when he was in kindergarten (when we lived in TX), that all the parents stayed and they even said I could stay & my other kids too! And it was at a big McDonald's or something & they bought food for EVERYONE! It was fun for the kids & I got to know some of the parents, but that's a reason I decided not to throw parties there. I could NOT afford to pay for the kids & their families!!! One of my friends (in TX) threw a party for her daughter and had to say on the invite "kids only" because it seemed customary for the parents/family to stay. Most of the parties my kids have gone to here in AZ have been kid-only parties, unless noted on the invite that my whole family or all my kids are invited. Otherwise, I drop them off & ask when I should be back to pick them up.
I think it depends on the age of the kid....I would say 5 and younger...parents should stay...but school age and older....it's a party for the kids...and they should know correct social behavior by then...so NO parents are needed.
when throwing a birthday party. I don't want parents or children staying. I only plan for the invitees unless I say parents/siblings.
I drop off, say a few nice words and book it out of there faster than you can say bye!
It's their party not mine.
I think they were fine leaving and I would have said, some where some how, you didn't say that is required to stay.
I've seen both. When we've had birthday parties, none of the parents have stayed unless they traveled great distances. I don't stay for my daughter's parties either unless I know the parents really well and ask if they'd like help. I say that if the invite is for the CHILD, then the child should go. If the parents want the parents to stay, then the invite should include the parents as well. We aren't mind readers people!
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